Customers Needs Come First

“Know the enemy” the ancient Chinese general Sun Tzu advised. The flying public needs to know that they have an enemy and that his name is Les LeGroom. To get up to speed on the subject of Les, it is helpful to remember that this is the man who, back in the nineties, left the sardine canning industry and had airlines falling over themselves to hire him as a consultant. It should follow as no surprise that Les’ specialty is cramming people together in undersized seats under claustrophobic conditions. Les’ background presence is once again palpable in the new aircraft deliveries taking place right now. These airplanes have the same cabin space as their predecessors, only this time they boast a significant increase in the number of seats.

No one can discredit Les LeGroom by saying he lacks of ingenuity. The airlines cannot get enough of this guy’s ideas. He always delivers the goods and does it smoothly, such as when the removal of food galleys created hardly any upset among seasoned passengers. After all, this was seen as a positive public health move, the end of gray chicken a la king. A few more seats were tucked in these nooks as though they had always been there. So full of ideas, it is like Les never sleeps and of course, he expects the same from airline passengers. Another of his expectations may come as a bit of a shock though. Rumor has it that he is urging the airlines to consider cutting back on a significant percentage of lavatory space, to make room for even yet more seating. Why waste all that space on one or two uncomfortable thrones?

Even some high up airline executives are uncomfortable with this suggested direction. Just a few weeks ago, a copy of an airline’s internal memo mysteriously appeared on the desk of a travel magazine editor. Dismissing it as a joke, the editor sent me a copy which to his surprise, I gave far more credibility to than he would have dreamed. There is the occasional manager who doesn’t worship every inch of ground that Les LeGroom walks on. This memo was a leak about leaks, in which LeGroom suggested more research on the possible public acceptance of ATBs or Airline Travel Briefs which from what I could tell, equated with adult diapers. His argument was that many Chinese travelers use absorbent underwear as an answer to tight travel conditions; wasn’t it time for westerners to catch up?

Les has also come up with seat designs that are supposed to eliminate any perception of tighter space on board. These seat structures are thinner, with a bottom that somehow miraculously slides forward to produce a reclining position that doesn’t compromise the knee room of the passenger in the seat behind. Not fully understanding this concept when I read it in the paper, I tried to replicate the described tilting motion with my office chair and immediately bruised my knee on my keyboard tray. I guess it’s just one of those things that need to be seen to be believed

After piecing together a mental image of the Flight of Tomorrow, I can’t help but think that Les is all about more: More travel-induced deep vein thrombosis, more chubby grannies staying home at Christmas, more adult diapers in the landfill (Oh excuse me, the proper term is ATBs) and more unhappy flying campers unsure of what exactly to pin their gripes on. They may catch on to what is eating at them at some point in the future when they are required to slather themselves with oil before boarding. After all, that application worked well in the sardine industry.

(Readers: Please note that this is a reprint of an earlier publication in which I unintentionally misspelled a certain gentleman’s name. Since then, I received a polite email stating that in fact, Les LeGroom is spelled Less LegRoom.)

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